Psst. This is just for you, whoever you are, and not for any of the others. I am so excited by the possibility that you will be the one to read this that I cannot contain myself any longer. You will know who I am, won’t you, even though I deliberately make one or too common spelling errers so the others won't guess my identity?

For so many years, Clive Barnes, 
I thought your name was Olive. 
All the things I was reading in books