The Size of It

I knew the length of an average penis
   was five to seven inches, a fact
I learned upstairs in the stacks marked 610
   or HQ, not down in the basement
where I knelt inside a toilet stall, waiting
   for eight and a half inches or more
to fill my mouth with a deeper truth. The heart
   grows smaller, like a cut rose drying
in the sun. I was only fourteen back then,
   with four and three quarters inches
at full erection. I began equating
   Asian with inadequate, unable
to compete with others in the locker room
   after an icy swim (a shrivelled
bud between my fingers as I tried to shake
   some semblance of life back into it).
Three times a day, I jacked off faithfully, yet
   nothing would enlarge my future, not
ads for vacuum pumps, nor ancient herbs. Other
   men had to compensate, one billion
Chinese measured against what? Some said my cock
   had a classical shape, and I longed
for the ruins of Greece. Others took it up
   the ass, reassuring in their way,
yet nothing helped me much on my knees at night
   praying one more inch would make me whole.