I
ăamai•ṗo’yii

  
***this is for all those wicked NDN bros out there up at ONE AM on a FUCKIN TUESDAY who are thinking about doing that thing they thought about doing for a long time but never had the fuckin COURAGE OR NUTS to do every one of you pricks every one of you cocksuckers knows what im about right now specially those bros who are FUCKED UP in that GOOD FUCKIN WAY the way i am right now ho jokes im plum gutdamn sober haha jokes i aint and you know this maaaaaaan i know you are out there right now really wanting to know what is going on in my life so here it is you BITCH that is the purpose of a site like this enit to share what is going on in our lives it is even right there in the button thing “click share you fuckin asshole” so fuck yeah you bet your bottom white man dollar im gonna share what is going on in the life of one WAYNE “FLURRY” WINTER THUNDER JR that guy who is your all time hero class of 15 fkn rulez that one youre always dreaming about the one with THA BIGGEST NUTZ hahaha enittttttttt i jokes i aint a queer quit lookin at my nutz haha also sister and mom and my 72 AUNTIES haha 4real2 im sorry you got to see this but u need to SEE HOW IT REALLY IS with her i know i been telling u for years but now u will “REALLY SEE IT” 

and just one more thing there is one thing i really need to say so all those naa-bee-ko-akes i made “friends” with during that one and a half semesters of school in clarkston before i realized i didnt need no white man school to tell me how life is every one of those fuckers can just get off this DICK haha jk jk fuck i love those white men who know everything and are always ready to tell us about us well how about this motherfucker how about i tell YOU something about US hayz im just FUCKIN around this aint even for you but you can listen in bcuz YOUR GONNA ANYWAY ENIT and when its all over with you can go write a paper about it haha i remember how you looked at me “professor hadley” when i told you in class you didnt know what you were even talking about and im telling you again just like i did in your office that one day after you failed me that you dont know nothing about this place you dont know fuckin NOTHIN but there you are gettin paid those good white man dollars to talk about us and tell ndns like ME that you know but i dont know.. and how fucked is that you fuckin bitch so just check this out you want to see something real ima show you what the “REAL REZ” is about and you can write whatever you want just make sure to put my picture next to it but make sure its that one good photo of me from when i was a firefighter two summers ago before i failed that WHITE MAN drug test and found myself in a “difficult situation” haha and yeah i know i didnt do most of the “work” for that class hadley but i dont fuckin care bcuz how does a ndn fail a ndn studies class haha peace out 4 real tho hey..

but anyway AS SOME OF YOU KNOW from what i and my woman have “shared” on this account haha fuck all you bros saying shit about having a account with my woman it wasnt even me bros she PLUM MADE ME DO IT haha anyway we been having a real hard time fuck sometimes it gets real rough out there for “a native american” sometimes it gets real wicked out here in the middle of the night thinkin about “the past” and “the future” as you well know my bros and u know we have had our ups and downs bcuz you have seen our “posts” and ill tell you this much most of those posts was hers she was the one always on here moping around bout how i wasnt romantic enough for her and whatnot always on here talking about our problems IN GUTDAMN PUBLIC like that time right around three oclock on a FRIDAY when everyone is on here bcuz they are trying to burn that last hour of work before they go home and FUCK haha i jokes they probly dont even FUCK they probly just sit around and GET FAT but of course she knew when everyone was gonna be at their desks and on their phones and whatnot so sure enough she posts that pic i sent her when we first got together that said “u like dis err wut” and holay fuuukkkkk in less than an hour it gets bout three hunnert likes and approximately two hunnert and seventy three were those laughing faces and the rest were sad faces except for my auntie sevren who musta been confused bc she gave me a thumbs up jeezus KRISE LU why you gotta DO ME like that but anyways i will tell you this much my relatives i will say this much it is one hell of a thing to get done from a hard and long day at the auto shop where u work for yr BULLSHIT COUSIN for PENNIES A DAY IT WOULD SEEM and as you are walking out after you scrubbed your hands real thorough with that special orange soap after you are feeling good about the work u done shit it is one hell of a thing to look up and see your cousin who IS YOUR BOSS sittin in his truck with that shitty smile on his face you seen a bajillion times and he kind of leans out the window and holds out his phone and there is the pic in question.. posted to this very site and you are looking at it for a LONG AND HARD second haha 4real2 before you realize what it is you are looking at before you realize its your woman who posted that pic ON YOUR OWN PAGE so you grab the phone from your “boss” and see the comments and i will admit i am not above admitting i am a big enough man to admit that some of them were gutdamn funny i mean im a intellectual kinna guy i can step back and look at the REAL BIG picture u know so i could see why there were JUST UNDER THREE HUNNERT laughing faces which is enough to make a guy feel famous but also it was mostly bcuz of what my woman said and not the pic bcuz i will say THIS MUCH that was one of my better boners that was a solid eight or nine out of ten haha like a true bee-gun-knee your bro would NEVER LIE HEY and if you look at that post WHICH IS STILL UP so much for online community standards haha bcuz she said if i deleted it from our account i would never get any again which caused me to weigh out my options in a truly rational manner and given the evidence at hand i deduced i had but one choice hayz look at me trynna talk fancy.. but hey but hey but hey fuck you i know how to read those white man books i was at a high school reading level in early middle school but anyway i deduced i had only one feasible choice which was not the worst choice ever bcuz as i said AS HAS BEEN POINTED OUT as was mentioned priorly i feel pretty ok about the pic i mean you dont go sending a pic like that unless you are feeling REAL FUCKIN GOOT MY BROS just a little lesson from the master a little nugget of wisdom from “your one uncle flurry” who knows how it is out there in the big bad world but

ok im back sorry my bros had to check on things to make sure all was “kosher” so what tonight has got me thinking about is what it was like the first time me and her met or i mean did not even meet so much as “see” each other my bros it was one of … THOSE THINGS that you cant do nothing about it just happens to you like a motherfuckin snowstorm in the middle of july bcuz heres the deal if u think about it we were probly meant to be together bcuz look when i first saw her it was at this party she had just moved back to DA REZ even tho she is FROM THE BEST TRIBE LIKE ME she had not lived here since we was kids and that was why she stood out well not the only reason there was something else i do not believe i will ever understand about when i saw her but what i knew was that she was dressed different she looked nice lol not as rough as these other rez hoes she was standing in the doorway to a kitchen and i walked in with my bro and cuzin the one and only larry “jeepers” holiday the best drinking bro of all time and i saw her there kind of almost silhouetted and that was it my bros i know you fuckers are going to tease me about this but it was like time slowed down i shit you not there was a light on her from somewhere above and we looked at each other and it was like we was the only two people in all of CREATORS WORLD haha jk i aint actin that holy haha 4real2.. and thats just how it was thats just the way it went thats just how the ish went down and it wasnt long before it was me down on one knee POPPIN DA QUESTION but hey fuck you i know some of you cocksuckers thought i was gonna say down on my KNEES fuck you guys are a bunch of perverted QUEERS enit haha but it wasnt long before i told her we should just be together like for the long run and she was like i dont even get a ring??? giving me that sweet look she used to give me back at the start of things and i was like well fuck baby your gonna get that ring but i gotta get somma dat monnaaayyyyy haha 4real2 i was just some brokeass bitch then had none of that regular paycheck shit i been bringing home OF LATE.. and she seemed disappointed or whatever but then she was like well i guess things could be worse

and of course she was talking about her ex the one and only raphael “jazz” lame dog that famous local woman beater and rapist who lu got with right when she moved back for half a year or whatever not like i got it marked in my calendar or anything haha 4real2 but most likely he is getting whatever he deserves in the old hoosegow haha sometimes i
used to really daydream about that fucker getting raped up and down the concrete hallways of that place for what he did to my lulu.. like i think about how he almost killed her.. those scars she got and all of them under her clothes so no one could see thats the kind of guy he was i think about him getting scared when he walked down the hall to his cell that first time just how scared he musta been like almost shaking scared like he couldnt talk bcuz he didnt want anyone to hear his voice waver and i think about him trying not to shower just going around stink as fuck and then one day he gets pinned in a dark corner while hes mopping the floor or whatever the fuck they gotta do when their behind bars.. and i see a set of guys just taking turns on him like really tearing his ass up really running that good train on him and leaving him about half dead maybe a few stomps to the head for good measure and after that hes just done for like you dont recover from something like that u come back from the pen and youve got your tats and whatnot you look scary as fuck but somewhere in the back of your mind is getting fucked by force and so youre not really tough so much as scared way way way back in that part of yourself no one else ever sees that only other men know about bc they got the same thing and that is something i used to think about a lot during that part of my life which is
let me think
about three years ago
lately i been thinking well long as i dont do a “jazz” i do not have to be concerned about such things but i also find myself saying i mean not actually saying but you know “saying it” in your head talking to him like hes here like fuck you “jazz” think your somethin jazzman just watch this u fuckin bitch you think your good you prick ill show u how its done

so now here i am thinking perhaps “that” is in my future depending on how i the real and true living god of the north la fleur hood “my niggaz” jk jk fuck i aint a gangsta haha like some of these bros around here who act like theyre living some ghetto shit no i will say once and for all i am not one of the “boyz” i am not one of the “niggaz” like those four suns brothers who are all inked up and shaved heads and baggy clothes like it is still the LAST CENTURY walking around throwing signs and calling their bros “my nigga”.. shit no i am just a regular indin guy living a regular indin life in the middle of a regular indin night after a couple of good hits off the loc that is me youre friendly neighborhood indin just cogitating on things trying to figure out what to do about me and lu my lu my lulu lulu LULU FUKKIN love of my life thats how it was i talked to her WHICH IS TO SAY TO GET BACK TO A PREVIOUS TOPIC its not like i aint a romantic or nothing and that kind of stuff i will tell you this i bought her flowers a few times at the start i took her out to one of them REAL GOOD RESTAURANTS not like mcdonalds which is where my cousin rob takes his women when he wants to go “upscale” haha 4real2 no i did what i had to do to let her know what she meant to me you know thats how you treat the one you feel the most for and thats how i ended up with this joint social media account haha 4real2 my bros when she says you got to have the same account DONT LET HER DO IT bcuz one day you are professing your love and the next she is saying something wicked about you on the same account you share with her! holay haha take it easy sweetheart ill wash the dishes but whatever but anyway

but so as i was saying things have been real rough and when things get like that you find yourself looking for something to give you a reason to keep going to keep keepin on to make it to the next bend in the road and we thought we had made it to that good place in life when little flurry was on the way.. i mean im telling you guys im just talking to my bros out there this very fine early am all my boys out there ON THAT DUST if you have never contemplated the beginning of life if you have never considered what that shit you been jacking out of yourself since you were thirteen and first had that fantasy about maria gonzalez with that motherfuckin wicked accent and them wicked titties and that wicked asssssss but while we are at it i gotta ask you bros who are out there this fine fine fiiiiine reservation night but

how in THE FUCK did a mexican girl like that end up ON DA REZ at the age of fourteen speaking that good spanish i mean what kind of MIRACLE brought her to us if you know what i mean i was told she and her family were here as part of some of that witness protection thing.. i shit you not thats what i was told but and this is a big but haha the guy who told me also said he had been abducted by aliens once and his uncles cattle are always getting mutilated drained of blood and whatnot SO YOU KNOW but so and all i have to say is my thirteen year old self needed protection from DAT SPANISH AAAASS haha 4real2 but

AS I WAS SAYING my bros if you have not really put some thought to the truth behind that magic jelly hahaha you been jacking out of yourself since you was a young lad that shit you been wiping off your stomach and if it was a real good one your mouth or eye or forehead or hair or the far wall or the window or sometimes chairs or the rug or the public restroom mirror or the back seat of your uncles car HAHAHA SORRY UNCLE and that type of shit then i mean if you have not really put your mind to the true meaning of FUCKIN like the real and true and final END RESULT then you might as well still be thinkin about maria gonzalez IF THAT WAS EVEN HER REAL NAME MY BROS so anyway we we we was thinkin we had cleared some kind of hurdle me and lu we had found a light in the forest and followed it out of that darkness we had been in for some time what with all the partying we was doing and the drinking and drugging as the older AA types like to say and boy we had really done it up we had really been going hard we had been on what you might call a two year ripper haha goin for that all time bee-gunn-ee record haha a lotta afternoons waking up not really

sure what had been going on

like one night in the middle of all that we are half shot we are sitting up in bed doing nothin and lu says
i fuckin hate myself wayne
i was like baby sweetie baby dont
shes like theres nothing you can do about it
so i try to hug her but she squirms away to get up so i grab her by the wrist im falling out of bed and that pulls us both down to the floor im trying to hold her down and then she just pulls back and blasts me in the face like side of her fist kinna thing and for a sec i saw stars no lie my bros she caught me just right i mean like i been hit before i can take it im no fag but my woman got a kinna wicked jab haha so i stop to like let my head clear and already shes down the hall and on her way out the front door it was dark the only light in the house coming from the kitchen stove light and then im tripping over greg not a chief who is for some reason passed out in the middle of the FUCKIN LIVING ROOM on the floor not even a blanket just a couch cushion for a pillow holding a teddy bear which i dont know where that came from i had forgot he was even there i was like
holy shit whos there and he mumbles
its me you fucker and i say
ho fuck sorry bro
sokay he says
so i make it out into the front yard and there she is waiting for me with a knife
it sounds crazy but my bros who been with a woman like that know what THATS all about and sure enough AS IM WALKING TO HER saying babe BABE BABE bcuz she has about the wildest look i ever seen her arm goes back and then forward and next thing that knife is coming at me in slow mo haha and it looks like and this is really what i thought bcuz weird things happen in your head at a moment like that you can actually have a thought at a moment like that like a single thought that is almost more like the thought that comes before a thought at a moment like that

so that blade is like a satellite catching the suns light except its a porch light the satellite turning in the blackness of space like in a scifi or something and anyway the knife stuck in my arm in my bicep

then she just screams throws her hand up to her mouth like i felt a pain but it was funny bcuz i also didnt feel the pain and there had been this sound.. the blade like going in.. shunk.. i was still rolling hard she is like
flurry flurry oh shit oh SHIT
and she runs up to me and shes shes like trying to touch me but not touch me and im looking at my bicep like what in the ever living
fuck and then she is running into the house and im standing there in the yard thinking this is kinna weird and then she is running past me to the car hollering at me like
FLURRY GET IN THE CAR FLURRY so i get in the car and
we fly into town we are flying through the highway dark and
next thing we are flying through la fleur home of the savages and we are going up toward the hospital like careening haha so i tell her to slow just slow the fuck down babe bcuz
ill live babe ill probly live
and shes all im sorry im so sorry im sorry i love you so much wayne
ok ok thats good haha i say just get me to the ER
shes got her hands at the ten and two we are driving across town i notice that everything feels kinna light like everything is glowing.. just a little bit.. we pass this dog or it was two dogs i mean and one of them the big one was part pit bull part rez had its mouth clamped around this smaller dogs neck well not even the neck almost like its whole head and neck its head was turned at this weird angle we are driving by the houses in the first star housing project the cotton­woods in government square me and lu the big wheel and the deflated basketball in the last riders front yard that faded red chevy blazer parked how many years in john st croixs driveway the one he wouldnt sell me

and i felt that little dogs life sort of flickering like a lightbulb i tilted my head i was afraid to move the knife was still in my arm but i wanted to see the dogs but the dogs were already red in the taillights and then blackish silhouettes so i look back i turn myself to look back and i feel something change
lu i say lu but mostly i was talking to myself that dogs fucking dying hey holy shit its fucking dying its gonna fucking die
just another goddamn dog she says  
which made me laugh i start laughing and lu is looking at me like wtf is wrong with you wayne
jesus fucking christ u r one mean bitch i say
wayne she says
WAYNE
she points at my arm and the knife has fallen out its lying in my lap there is a dull ache in my bicep there is blood all over my shirt and pants and im like holy fuck
then we are sitting in the ER with the others and she says you know what i think and she gets this mean look in her eye like something is really amusing so i say
fuck what lu
she says i think those dogs are us and she laughs and then is very quiet almost shamed out bcuz her laugh made others look at us i can see that im holding a t shirt to my shoulder blood but not 2 much blood i asked her where did this shirt come from and
she says r u for real
and i say real as fuckin bigfoot
and like i dont really know what i meant by that but i sat there a long time wondering who was which dog

but on a more normal night haha 4real2 we might have ended up holding each others faces crying and shit like that saying stuff like we cant do this no more and we are gonna wake up tomorrow and clean up this godforsaken house and when we are done with that go out looking for jobs and we will get our cells turned back on and shit and just like that we would be real live FIRST PEOPLES OF THE AMERICAS again but then next thing we only cleaned part of the house and we decide to wait till the next day to find them good jobs and that night once again we are ON THAT DUST and HITTIN THAT LOC and FEELING REAL GOOT HEY and so on and so forth you know the sad sad story and then we find out little flurry is on the way

and just like that both of us were squeaky clean as fuck it was wild one night im slammin cans of high grav with the bros next im working for my cousin at his shop fixing every godddamn rez ride on the planet it seems and lu is working up to the tribe as that one fatass councilmans gopher and pretty quick we had our bills paid up and got our brand new cells turned on and even got internet for the first time which led to the CREATION OF THIS JOINT ACCOUNT haha 4real2 this page upon which i am typing this message to all my bros and the handful of bro ettes out there who havent fully bought into lus bullshit stories about me
LIKE THAT TIME SHE SAID ON THIS VERY SITE
someone come get me this man wont let me leave the house hurry please
but im telling you that never even happened bcuz at that time i was not even that kind of guy.. back then she would just go on these jags sometimes like just completely lose her shit and id be like what in the fuck is going on lu and then lu goes and posts a status update like that so

anyway we had got our shit together we had daily schedules and whatnot we had a calendar on the wall we would cross off before we went to bed “another day clean”.. and for marking other things like on tuesday lus morning shift.. my cousin wants me to come in on a saturday.. doctors appointment which we would just mark “little flurry 9 am” or whatever or get groceries we usually did that on sundays one sunday after groceries we decided to go for a drive like just to get out of town like a nice drive and whatnot

we did that a lot then bcuz we had money all of a sudden we felt cashy so we would fill up at ye old town pump and go for an afternoon drive the way you see white people do in movies wed go out to the mountains and park up there on a pulloff and sit there looking at the best mountains in the world and we would talk about whatever or not talk and maybe i or she would fall asleep and the other would be on their phone texting some cousin or friend or we would cruise down to silver falls and catch a matinee and afterward get dinner not just drive thru but like real dinner and it didnt feel we were stretching anything to do that we could swing it easy we would leave the rez behind us drive over the golden plains lu resting kind of sleepy eyed in the seat next to me her hand on her belly she was not showing yet but she would sometimes stop whatever she was doing and put her hand on her belly and go to some place deep in herself.. or sometimes we would go to the west side of the mountains to clearwater where the white people seem.. a lot more prejudiced against indins and whereas before it would bother us so much that we did not like to go over there once we had those jobs we felt protected or something from the way they would look at us and its funny to think about now bcuz we did not look any different we or at least i was not dressing any better lu got some new clothes she has a way of dressing that i like but it was still the same shaggy rez car the tan taurus she had nicknamed beige beauty but we did not feel the same and thinking about it now it must have been the only really good time in my life i cant look at any other time in my life and see it as better or even as good as that time our life was a newly blacktopped highway and it didnt matter where it was going we were just going down it

so we cruised out of la fleur and once we had been driving long enough i was like well we are almost to bridgerton should we just go to bridge and she was like yeah that sounds fun she was feeling lighthearted i could tell so we crossed blood creek and went into bridgerton it was one of those quiet real real quiet sunday afternoons in a white man town where you didnt even hear any lawnmowers which is kinna like a fuckin small miracle in a white man town in the summer it was quiet tho like eerie like when a mountain lion or bear is nearby and all the birds and bugs and even the fish go quiet haha

we drive around just to see what there is to see bcuz of late a lot of us have been moving to bridge “defecting” haha bcuz if there is a place to rent on da rez i dont fuckin know where it is and so after we cruise for a while we see a garage sale so we stop and lu rummages around she loves that kinna shit and she gets us some silver­­ware that was pretty nice like had that kinna flowery design on the handles and is heavy like the kind you take from a restaurant and then we drive around some more and find another and she rummages around finds a pitcher and says
now we can make sun tea
i said whats that
and to tell you the truth i still dont know i mean isnt it just ice tea but lu was different since she found out she was reading about food all the time and lately she would start crying for no reason at all far as i could tell and or would just snap like boom on me which im saying she was like that most of the time anyway but this was different so now lu is looking for another sale and sure enough we find one near the top of the high hill on the south side of town all the big houses are up there like a few two car garages and some legit two story places and like manicured yards and whatnot and out in front of one is this older white woman i cant say how old but she you know she was old enough to be my gram I MISS YOU GRAM LOVE U 4 EVAH shes just sitting there by herself her arms crossed and next to her is a FOR SALE sign shes watching us real close as we are getting out of the taurus so of course im like i know what this bullshit is about and right away im getting more and more pissed off but lu is just rummaging through stuff so i go back to the car and grab a cigarillo and i light it up and smoke trying to look mean at the woman but i had forgotten that the only cigarillos i had were grape flavored which it is hard to act mean when u are smoking a grape cigar and the old bitch just stares back at me or at least i think she is she coulda been sleeping for all i knew from twenty feet away her eyes set way back in the folds of her face meanwhile lu is just minding her own biz and picking up a kids book here a big kitchen knife there i know i know haha i was thinking just what your thinking it almost made me laugh but then i see lu talking to the woman and she starts counting out change and i thought to myself fuck this so i go back across the street and im like
what costs the most
and the woman kind of looks at me and then looks at her wares and looks back to me and says
well its the dish set
and im like fuck it we will take them how much
she tells me the price and says theyre a very nice set
i say ill give you half that
she says well i dont know if i can do that because its a very nice set
i say you owe us at least a ten dollar discount
she says i dont owe you anything
i say actually you owe us a whole fuckin lot
at that point lu says jesus wayne dont be such an asshole
i dont think that kind of language is necessary do you the old woman says
and i say well i dont know i guess not

then she thinks for a moment and says well since you seem to want them so much and i need to get them off my hands and also i need to get everything back in the garage a storm is coming ill give them to you for three quarters the sticker price
which was a price i felt comfortable with so i nod ok and she waves her hands like take them so i hand her some cash and pick up the dishes and me and lu turn to go but halfway back to the car i think of something i say
hey lady i know why youre leaving
and i smile at her and wink but she just says that she and her husband had lived there for a long time and it was now time to move on it was time to stop and smell the roses and i say
you guys look like youve been smelling the roses for a long time at this point
the woman gives me a look and then says
enjoy enjoy enjoy!
waving her hand at us to go and she starts packing things up right there so we head back to the car im carrying the new heavy dishes thinking i could not see evidence of a storm anywhere from up on that high hill where all the bigger houses are you can see out in a lot of directions for a long ways and there was nothing zilch nada sky the great blue dome of the world haha was clear and clean as a babys butt
and that was that we went home i remember watching the mountains real close looking for those big dark clouds which did not come and not talking that whole drive back i started to get irritated like really fuckin irritated like that happened a lot when i first went clean i would have these moments where something would come up from inside me and id feel a need to break something in half

so we are driving away from that house and i say that fucking cunt if i hadnt liked the color of those dishes so much i wouldve broke them on her ugly goddamn face to which lu says for me to watch my language the baby didnt need to hear things like that he can feel everything im saying
ah i say hes gonna have to get used to it sometime might as well come out ready for this this this.. place
and lu
lu
lu
MY BEAUTIFUL FUCKIN LU
she says i dont want to do this here
she is looking out the window out toward the mountains i couldnt even tell if she was talking to me i ask her what was that babe but she didnt say anything like she hadnt heard me so i say louder
WHAT DID YOU SAY
im hungry i wanna eat she says
and that was that bc lu whenever she wants to eat thats that we just go eat anything is better than dealing with a hungry lu she can be all ready to burn the world down she will start talking about all the problems we have and i will be like babe we already went through this the other day and she will say she doesnt care today is today and so on and so forth and then we get some food like go to taco juans and its like presto everything is good again its like nothing ever happened in the history of the world haha thats how it is my bros thats just how it is you ever got a problem in life you just take a little trip over to taco juans and get yourself some mexitatos and everything will be ALL FUCKIN GOOD HEY

except on the way back from bridgerton it wasnt all good we got food and she stayed quiet most of the time except when she was telling me what to do like give me some of your drink flurry and these tacos are gross flurry take them back i want a large super mexitato and its time for you to get a haircut flurry youre starting to look houngey and i was like ok ok ok bcuz sometimes you just need to shut up and do what she says even if shes riding you like that white guy in that video where hes riding a buffalo at full tilt haha 4real white people can be crazy as fuck sometimes but then so can indins i guess we are all just playing a game of whos craziest till everyone is dead haha but i was just doing whatever she said to do and it went on like that for the rest of the night we watched some tv and i asked her a few times if she was ok and she was like yes im
fine
and whatnot so she looks in the freezer and is like we are out of blue popsicles and i say but theres yellow and red and orange in there all kinds but she says i only want blue can you go get some and im like no im not going out again tonight and she says fine and then she really wont talk to me like i can feel the icy shoulder from two rooms away so i just let her be bcuz what the fuck else am i gonna do am i her servant or what so she goes and gets ready for bed shes in the bathroom flossing or whatever taking off her makeup or whatever and as im tiptoeing through the kitchen in an attempt to bypass any further interactions with my lu im just gonna strip down and hop in bed like kinna strip dive haha right into perfect position under the covers not even brush my teeth bcuz if i can be asleep before her then ill wake up tomorrow and everything will be real reeeeeaaalllll good hey haha but on my way through the kitchen i see those dishes sitting there stacked on the counter unwashed and next thing im just putting them in the sink and running the water and squeezing out the soap and im scrubbing them down they have this real pretty hue to them like polished bone or something and blue flowers all over the surface and theyre heavy like surprisingly heavy but i guess thats how any plates would feel once you been eating on plastic or paper plates or even the cheap thin white ceramic plates most of your life im putting the dishes in the drying rack and then im washing that heavy silverware too putting forks and whatnot into the drainer and im looking at all of that together the flowered dishes and the flowered silverware and everything is nice in a way haha dont go calling me a fag bros a man is allowed to like dishes and spoons if he wants hey so i finish with that and their all sitting in the drying rack lined up perfectly and so i step back i look around to see if everything looks tidy bcuz that was one of the deals we made since we got clean that we would keep our life in order thats what we would do and everything looked nice so im feeling good everything inside me is quiet for once so i hit the light and as im standing there in the dark my hand on the light switch i realize lu is singing she might have been singing this whole time i dont know she is down the hallway in the bathroom singing something to herself some small song i cant tell what it is but it felt like it was early morning even though it was about ten in the pm there was a lightness to the way she sang that song the way you hear a bird outside of your window in the morning in the summer and at the same time there was the dishes shining the whole house changed bcuz of those dishes

so i went to bed by then lu was in bed herself and it felt good to get into bed next to my woman and put my hand on her belly and so we are lying there and im falling asleep drifting out like a boat untied into a big quiet and she starts talking her voice is like a murmur she says
i mean what i said wayne i dont want to raise our child here
ok i say
and she says flurry im really serious i dont want this baby to grow up here this is such a hard place for kids and she pauses and then just like that she starts crying i can feel it before there are any sounds i say
jesus baby baby we dont have to we can raise him anywhere you want we can raise him in goddamn fuckin new york city if you want and i laugh bcuz i have never been there
and she says wayne im serious im really really serious about this this baby cant grow up here
so i say ok ok but think about harley and ritas kids they are doing ok and theyve got half the tribe in that house haha and those kids are doing ok
and lu looks at me its dark as fuck in that room hey but i can feel her looking at me through the dark and she says but wayne
that is true wayne but thats not us thats harley and rita theyre different
thats not us
look at us just
look at us
i ask her what she means by that bcuz i am feeling pretty goot about things but she just drops her head down on my chest and throws her arm across me and shes asleep in about half a second it always PISSED me off how fast she could fall asleep meanwhile i am lying awake at three in the am thinking about everything for the fifteenth time and so i say out loud ok ok lu we will go somewhere else and i run my hand over her head down her hair a few times real slow i can really feel how smooth and straight her hair is i always loved that about her that real pretty straight hair which she is always curling and sometimes i say lu you cant make yourself more pretty than you already are to me and she says well maybe its not about you flurry
so i lie there in the dark on my back staring into the dark for a while listening to her breathe im thinking about how the fuck to fix this newest problem that’s how it was and then i

dreamed about my dead cousin ray i hadnt dreamed about him in a long time it seems a lot of my dreams are about like ray who blew his face clean off with a 12 gauge and my other cousin chris who fuckin overdosed on those good pills a few years back and my auntie venezuela who ran her truck headon into a tree after a five day ripper and went through the windshield they found her all folded up in the bushes and my best bro steel who was found dead in a trailer with a hatchet in his forehead just another dead indian you know those are just the ones i can think of now and they come back to me im telling you just like that people come back to me like that night me and ray threw a baseball which we never did in real life and thats all i remember then i wake up and im thinking what is this all about anyway what is the point if all youre gonna do is die and come back to throw baseballs

anyway then the thing happened its one of those things you have no control over like theres things you can control like what you eat for breakfast how much milk you put in that good good cereal haha which set of tires you are gonna buy and whether or not you blast that fucker who was hitting on your woman right there in front of you but then theres other things they come at you like a fuckin train shiny wheels as my grandpa used to call it enit and there you are in the tunnel with no light at either end and there is that moment where you see that you just cannot do nothing but stand there or turn away like a bitch or maybe run right at it like that kamakaze shit right but any way you do that train is coming for you and thats it motherfucker youre going down sometimes you can even hear the whistle way off in the distance but when its way out there you dont think oh that train is coming for me you just think theres a train and then it gets close and you think theres a train nearby and then next thing you see that big light bearing down on you and theres nowhere to go well this was not like that this was out of the blue a fuckin drone strike a sound and then its over your last thought is well i guess i never deserved anything good in this life anyway so fuck it that was how i thought the second i saw her the bottom fell out of the whole
operation

one day lu calls me from her work shes not feeling good and i say how are you not feeling good and she says
just come get me wayne
and there is this tone in her voice so i fly up to the tribe to pick her
up and shes got someones hoodie around her waist like covering her up and she gets in and puts her face in her hands and she says
wayne take me to the hospital im bleeding
then we are in the ER again and at the back of my head i have this thought im like how many times are we going to be here

then that night while lu is sleeping i cant sit still so i head to a party raging it up and a few nights later it is both of us out raging it up at a house party and people are drinking and shit talking the usual and we look at each other across the room and i had the distinct and very real feeling that i could almost see her thoughts as clear as i could see that can of miller lite in my hand and i knew that she was telling me she was sorry for what she was going to do and i would not even be able to blame her bcuz there had been a lifeline and now it was gone and she was before my eyes turning into a dark tornado that would draw all nearby things into itself and toss them out plum fuckin destroyed like those cars you see on flatbeds on their way to the junkyard that look like chunks of rock all bent up and twisted and i knew she was going to do that to me and i forgave her and i asked for forgiveness bcuz while you may know what is coming and why it is coming that does not change how you will feel about any of it you know sometimes i think we are just playing out these roles and even as you see yourself do things that you know you should not do and do not even want to do you are powerless not to do them and that is just how it is she was giving me this look and i could see all these things in her one was sadness like the deepest sadness i ever seen in my life and one was pity and that was for me bcuz she could do anything to me she was behind the castle walls haha and she could light a match and the whole city would be on fire before anyone knew what was even happening and the last was fury or maybe hate and that was for me her everyone the whole fuckin world anything that came within striking distance and that was why i knew i could love her i mean bcuz she was the one woman in the world who would take a sword to me who would cut my head off and not hesitate
i knew it all at once that this woman i was looking at could tie me to a stake and flay me alive while my family watched from behind the walls of the town the way those one indins out east used to do to the pilgrims haha fuck them but and even though i knew it would be the worst feeling i ever had it would also be the best haha #4real2 i mean dont ask me why i knew this for a while now but never said it but now im saying it bcuz tonight is one of those nights you just say everything bcuz you dont know if there will be other nights thats just how it is sometimes

SO NEXT THING im walking into work one day ready to get my
hands black with grease just ready to smell the oil and the steel and listen to that good la fleur radio which is always playing at the shop twenty four hours a day and im just looking to drink a bunch of coffee and clear my head but there is my boss cousin with that look on his face again and right away im thinking awwww FUCK and he holds up his phone there is a video playing on his phone and at first i cant tell who it is but then of course i see that it is none other than the love of my life kissing on of all people that prick prison mickey and she is holding her phone up the way women do when they want you to see all of them like that up above angle you can see her tits bcuz shes wearing that dress i bought her from that clearance place where you get brand name stuff but its like cheaper for some reason like maybe it was cut wrong or something and the heels i bought her at that same place and there are prison mickeys hands on her ass and she is kind of half looking at the phone while she is kissing on him and believe it or not at that point im actually not doing that bad i am just staring at my cousins phone while he is half laughing and shaking his head and saying he told me this was gonna happen when i got together with her she been fuckin around on you this whole time little cuz he says and im like gimme that phone mother­fucker and i grab it out of his hand and head back to the taurus while my cousin is shouting give him his phone back bcuz he was one of those guys who had two phones my cousin was always running multiple women and texting them from different phones and hes saying that i owe him a day if im not back in an hour and i can tell you this i did not give a fuck i beat it back to our place pedal to the metal style and i go in there you know like i could have just gone in and tried to rouse her from bed bcuz she was always sleeping during the day by then she had quit her job except she didnt even really quit she just stopped showing up and that fat councilman hired some other cute girl he wanted to try to fuck and i could have just gone in ready to try to talk it out bcuz you cant shout at lu she just shouts back even louder she just goes back at you even harder and you better hope there isnt a knife around haha so even tho i felt like i should be that one calm way i knew she wanted me to go at her i was like fuck it lets fucking do this lets burn this bitch to the ground so i stomped in and threw the bedroom door open hollering her name and whatnot but she was not even there so i sat in the kitchen and got drunk and watched that vid of her and fucking prison mickey it was one of those vids you could just let play and it would loop over and over and i shit you not it was like she was trying to tell me something but that was not long after the thing with little flurry so i figured she was allowed a mistake or two but not long AFTER THAT i start hearing stories about things she had done even way before that and it made me wonder if little flurry was even gonna be little flurry or little something else but here is the thing i never loved anyone like i loved her and even the thought of losing her is enough to just make me feel like i could do any FUCKING THING like one of those guys who turns into a wolf in a movie except when i did it it would be real and not look shitty

but so i been thinking about how we got to here and no lie its like everything that ever happened has led to this very exact fuckin moment and that leads you to ask yourself certain things about what is really going on with god i mean if this is part of a plan if everything happens for a reason then what is the reason for this i ask you haha i mean if this is the plan then who even gives a fuck about anything especially any kind of god or “holy spirit” bcuz that means all that shit like smallpox and whooping cough and yellow fever and probably some of that good herp and massacres and all that good raping and molesting the priests did haha yeah man 4real2 then fuck “god” and fuck plans you know you know you know what im saying my bros lets just GET IT ON and call it good you know we should all just FUCK so anyway i was watching that vid and then lu comes in and when she realizes what i am doing she tries to get out of the house but i was not having any of that and so that is the first time i knocked her around or well i mean i guess the first time i really knocked her around where i like had her on the floor like my knees on her arms but i made it good i made it all rite the way you do and then i went back to work and stayed late for the next few days to make up for my absence and my cousin boss was giving me this look like i was the biggest pussyass pussface you ever saw but i dont know what to say i love lu and thats how it is and we are together till the end is and has always been my feeling

**HOLD UP MY BROS brb as the kids say when they text haha 4real2

ok im back so then i ask myself haha if one thing is supposed to happen then what about all the things afterward like what she did the other night which i will be sure 2 tell u about “ASAP” MY BROS or those nearly three hunnert likes that im really telling you did not really bother me but kind of feel like complimentary and shit tbh  even though that is not how lu intended haha sometimes things just work out DIFFERENT THAN YOU INTEND like tonight for example but what i am saying is that maybe all things are happening in some kind of great conjunction bcuz there are planets and stars out there doing theyre thing and now here i am just sitting in this kitchen in the middle of the night typing away on the laptop lu bought at the pawn shop in silver falls when we still were on the straight and narrow and believed things were gonna work out haha but THEY DIDNT just me with a little help from my good and dear friend DA LOC and you my goot frens out there in “cyberspace” but ill tell you where this all goes ill finally get to the point as the white man is always telling us indins to do haha 4real2

but really doe haha what if there was no reason lu took off with the gun while me and my cousin who is also my boss not sure ive mentioned that im kinna FUCKED UP HEY not even sure what ive said up to now but we were at his place drinking some beers and watching the game and not really talking bcuz there aint much to talk about when you work with someone five MOTHERFUCKIN days a WEEK and i get this text and i kinna held off looking at it bcuz i was feeling goot just sitting there with my empties next to me and my cuz making some of those good nachos and i just got this feeling something bad is going to happen and so i held off i watched the game but i could not really focus on what was happening plus my team was playing FUCKED UP and it was starting to piss me off in that way only your team playing like a bunch of FUCKIN QUEERS can piss you off and then then then i hear that ding again so i give in and i look and lu is like wayne i cant take this im feeling so bad about things! so im thinking
aww FUCK
bcuz i did not feel like dealing with anything that night but something about it seemed serious then she texts again and its just a pic of a hand holding a gun and sure enough i recognize that tattoo of a star and sure enough it is my gun the same one i had bought when i thought little flurry was on the way or i mean when i thought he would actually arrive like the second lu told me about the test i knew that i needed more than to get clean i needed to become the kind of guy who deserved a kid so i started buying and never lending basic things like tools like a good white man instead of borrowing and never giving back like a true indian and looking at the house bcuz though we had been living in it for what almost a year i had never once even tried to “assess its condition” so i was like outside looking around at the windows and the doors and checking the locks all of a sudden though a lot of the time we left things open during the summer not to air shit out but bcuz we just PLUM DIDNT CARE and i had this need to make that house safe and to be honest with you my bros bcuz of the way we had been living there were some crazy goddamn people who had been in that house and sometimes someone would come by to see if we were still partying and so me or lu would come home and there was some person sitting on the steps or whatever usually fucked up as all get out like dangerous fucked up like we didnt know if we was gonna have to call the cops and also didnt know if the cops would get to our place before someone got stabbed haha 4real2 my bros you know how it is when you been on that wicked party trail haha so when i got the gun for cheap at a pawn shop in silver falls and by cheap i mean the guy working there gave me the el pistola hayz check out my spanish MARIA GONZALEZ WHERE YOU AT WITH THEM TITTEHS for a few twenties and what remained of that good meth me and lu had scored just before we said sobriety was the name of the game all i was really thinking about was little flurry so i had not even considered the ramifications of that pistol i just knew the weight of it felt good as i walked out the pawn shop in silver falls that afternoon thinking we would be ok that we could really make it

so yeah sure enough that was the gun in the photo and my cousin is smirking at me like he knows what is going on i just got up and left and i call the cops and there is a search leading to a classic blackfeet reservation high speed chase and sure enough they find her out on the chief bull road in her car high as a motherfuckin red balloon some kid let go of at the fair shouting at them that she is going to do it shes gonna fucking do it dont get any closer that kind of shit and i mean i was scared at first but the longer it went on i got angry and finally i just walked up to her and none of them stopped me fuckin tribal cops man sometimes you wonder it was like me walking up to her was the last thing they would expect but i had had enough of her bullshit and so when she actually pulled the trigger even i was surprised bcuz i did not think she had it in her so i will say i am somewhat admiring of her for it bcuz why even be with a woman unless she is willing to pull that trigger to show how much she loves you haha 4real2 but so there is that sound that hard crack and the bullet has already gone right by my head like i felt the air flex by the side of my ear so i grab the gun i dont think she even really knew she was gonna pull the trigger at all so i take the gun and grab her we are like sitting there in the dirt on the chief bull road ive got my arms around her and that was that you would think something might have changed but i will tell you this much my bros IT DID NOT haha 4real2 lu went and did it not once but twice more haha out there with that good gun i know it seems impossible but she really did haha and even now i am like well that is pretty crazy but not thaaaaat crazy i mean once you been shot at by your woman and have survived a knife throwing at a certain point you just kind of go to yourself ok then i guess this is how it is going to be haha but

then this thing happened and it was somehow not what i expected idk i guess when you are all fucked up in that good way its hard to know things even if they are right in front of you but one day i am at work under a f150 replacing some calipers and the radio tuned in its one of those stations where really you can hear anything at any time of the day for example my cousin larry is on there late nights on tuesdays and he is usually playing hardcore punk and rap he is on there saying wild ish you cannot imagine like joking about praying for the white man to walk through a lake of fire and whatnot the next morning old yolanda little knife is on there playing church choir music haha 4real2 and then a few hours later that one fucker whose name i cant think of right now is playing powwow music indian country my bros thats the real indian country right there but so i am under that truck and i hear this voice saying hey i got a joke for you and im like
aww fuck what is it now jerry im BUSY
that is my coworker jerry hill a real bitch if there ever was one the kind of guy who will fuck up on a job and tell the boss it was your fault even though everyone knows it was his you may ask yourself how does a guy like jerry “jigs” keep a job well let me tell you he has been fired at least three times but my boss cousin keeps hiring him back bcuz the replacement guys only manage to stick around for a while before they just stop showing up and then guess who is right back in there bcuz “jigs” is a real FUCK HEAD but one thing he is that none of the replacements are and not even me is stone sober although i am more under control than most i have it down to a kind of science and he is a pretty solid mechanic when it comes down to it aside from his every month or so fuckups not to mention he shows up on time none of that indian time bullshit with him so i hear the voice say how many indins does it take to replace a lightbulb and im like fuck off jerry im working go back to jacking off thinking about your mom and he kind of walks off and goes back to work but then about a hour later i hear this voice and the voice is like hey but really how many indins does it take to change a lightbulb and i am like
jesus fucking krise jerry fuck off i need to get some shit finished here its not just that im working on another rig a 4runner with a bum fuel tank its that its already two hours past regular close but there i am along with jerry “jigs” working late bcuz we owe my cousin boss hours so jerry goes to the other side of the shop for a while to work on one of the public school vans regular maintenance type shit and then just as im wheeling myself out from under that truck feeling real goot about the progress i made i look up and see jerry and he is like holding out his phone so i am laying there on the creeper looking up and his phone is upside down so at first im not sure what its all about and you would think by now i would just know but i will tell you this my relatives fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me thirty three times and what weve got is a real issue on our hands but what i see after ive grabbed the phone from “jigs” is the love of my life taking a hit from a pipe aka ONNA DEM LIGHTBULBS and passing it to none other than YOU GUESSED IT and i set the phone down real careful on the concrete so as not to fuck up the screen and then i go to the bathroom and scrub my hands down real good and once ive got them clean even under the nails a little bit and as im on my way out of the garage i realize “jigs” is sitting on the big tool box laughing like whats happening is the funniest thing he ever saw i get in my truck and drive back to the house and of course lu is not there bcuz we all know where she is and i get the el pistola from under the floorboards in the back porch and i make sure the clip is loaded and i get in the truck and head out to his house which is a few miles out of la fleur on a lonely stretch of highway and on the way out i feel real calm like wicked calm and but i know that i am not regular bcuz it isnt until i get close to the turnoff when i realize on the radio is a brittney spears marathon of sorts like they are going through her albums from her earliest hits to her most recent stuff and playing tracks i have not heard before and i am like FUCK THIS and turn off the radio i drive in silence just me and the tires on the gravel the gravel popping under the tires and well also that good loc i hit that bitch once twice thrice chicken soup with rice almost more than your dad used to hit your mom and so by the time the house comes into view ive got my headlights on by then it started to get dark i can see the silhouette of the mountains out here and the sky is fuckin beautiful its as pretty as ive ever seen it dark red and orange and yellow in layers above the mountains and my insides have turned to pure goddamn lightning and everything has a aura then im parking in front of that house where i parked how many times in my life to watch football and that cocksucker is coming out of his house all barefoot hes got on jeans hes not even wearing a shirt and i think i bet he took it off i bet he wanted me to see his shoulders and chest fucker was always one of those naturally jacked guys i can see that big anchor tattoo hes got over his heart from his navy days and hes got this smirk on his face like he knows just how to solve this problem which is me hes saying
now listen wayne now listen this isnt nobodys fault
cocksucker has never called me wayne in his life hes kind of got one hand up like one of the indians in old movies going how and im getting out and when he sees what ive got he gets quiet wheres that smirk now bitch and i say
listen fucker least you coulda done was taken her to silver falls or something anywhere but this house where i been a thousand times
and he is quiet
that all you got i say
and its all he got
i point the gun and squeeze the trigger once and miss of course bcuz you cannot hit the mark when fueled by anger bruce lee told me that and then i squeeze off another round and another when i finally land one before the red flower shows up right in the middle of that anchor he looks kind of surprised
i give him another flower right in his fuckin face and then hes on the ground I WILL TELL YOU WHAT MY BROS it is more simple to shoot someone than you think inside lulu is screaming before ive even come all the way through the door she is in the kitchen like oh jesus flurry dont oh jesus but im like sit in that chair  you          whore im about to give you something real to suck on she tries to run but i squeeze off a round in her general direction a hole opens up in the cupboard above the fridge and i say get in the chair lu so

i go to the closet and get out that good duct tape and i wrap her up in that good way real tight but i dont wrap her mouth i just let her scream all she wants
i am sitting in a chair across from her by then
lu i say no one can even hear you think about it we are way out in the countryside save them vocal cords for the lord
haha 4real2 and after she cries for a while she asks what i am going to do and i say
you know lulu my love apple of my indin eye i am not really sure i am thinking maybe the best way to end this story of true romance is to put both of us out of our misery
i point the barrel at her for a second and then i put the barrel in my mouth bcuz at this point why the fuck not thats what i realize that i just dont care i havent cared for quite a while and i dont think she has either sometimes all you need is a barrel in your mouth and everything falls right into its right place shes the only one i want to be there at the end so i am looking at her and give her the finger with my off hand and with my gun hand i pull the trigger

but nothing happens bcuz i had put the safety back on at some point and totally forgotten about it for fuck sake haha just your friendly neighborhood injun trying to kill himself and to paraphrase my uncle “fats” all you have to do is be smarter than the gun haha i try to think of something to say but there is nothing to say to someone you know that well at a moment like that i just say BANG loud as fuck and if you can believe it she laughs one short time real loud the sound even surprised me like
HA
so i make like im gonna hit her with the gun bcuz i dont know what else to do and she flinches and then starts crying again and bcuz the lightning in me is running off a little bit i start to think and i am like you know if i am really going to do this then i should do this right i need to leave a note i need to leave a “last will and testiment” i want everything to be real clear its like a recipe you know its like take one of these and one of those and add a few of them and smoke at a very high temperature and next thing voila you are putting a gun barrel in your own mouth the thing about metal is its always harder than you think your mouth is so used to things your teeth can break that there is something real surprising about metal it is one of those situations where two things come up against each other and one is stronger than the other and that thing is not your teeth

so i go to the kitchen where i seen a laptop and when i open it up i realize its lus laptop the one she said she lost a month ago and i think
son of a fucking bitch   
there it is with the almost worn off blackfeet tribe sticker on the lid and that is when i determine to type this oh-fishal document up and i figure well there is nothing more oh-fishal than this site bcuz just like a marriage nothing is real until you have typed on this site about it so i get online and first thing i see is a white guy and a black guy fuckin a asian woman and a asian guy is off to the side beating it and i shit you not my bros i had the thought that if i make it through this night i will go on to be the first indin to make porno i will make it just for us it will involve nothing but indins fucking and one white guy off to the side taking notes for a academic essay i jokes my bros aye jokes
 
so i start typing this ish up bcuz trust me this is not one of those stories you want someone else telling for you you need to tell it all in your own way so that no one elses IDEAS can come between you and the motherfuckin TRUTH and im telling you who knows im feeling real gutdamn generous right now maybe if we can break the three hunnert laughing face mark then i will keep one of us alive i dont know though im at what you might call a real impasse here haha 4real2 a few minutes ago i pointed the el pistola at lu and said you tell me what to do im getting tired and she just kind of looked at me and so i said lu tell me how it should be bcuz I DONT FUCKIN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE and she was like wayne please forgive me im so sorry and i said shhh shhh shhhh lu baby you were already forgiven member when we first saw each other all of this was going to happen anyway and she said wayne you are talking crazy and i said fuck yeah babe fuck yeah im one wild and crazy injun haha 4real2 and then she looks right at me shes sitting there taped up leaning forward in the chair and says i mean she screams it at me
she says FUCK YOU WAYNE

DO IT

and for the first time in i dont know how long i feel something in my heart and it feels so good i have to sit down myself so i do i sit down and put my hand to my chest like when you feel a prayer in just the right way the way the old people do at the end of a prayer you touch the chest where the heart is and i say ah christ lu thats what i wanted thats what i was looking for i knew you still had it in you thats what i said my bros thats how i said it real quiet and i had this feeling of like what a time to be alive rite what a motherfucking time to be

        alive

II
āassinūttsii•ṗo’yiiyă

christ flurry r u for real or r u just fuckin around because this aint
                funny

yeah no joke bro if you are fuckin around you need to say so

because

this is fucked up hey
i have a bad feeling about this people and i am rarely wrong click on this link to send prayers

r u 4 fkn real??

i leave all things up to the lord i am a woman of god i believe prayer solves all things one time when i was in church i saw the preacher had a halo of gold i have studied n i never seen anything so beautiful  i heard the word

of our lord god sorry didnt mean to hit return its my diabetes i get shaky

hard to type when you only got a few toes?

hooooooooo lmao
has anyone seen him or lulu and who is he talking about

does anyone know if he has a gun for real
did he really shoot someone???

at all?
fuck bro dont let the white man get you down haha 4real2
has anyone talked to     his mom?? his sister????

this is what happens when you been abandoned by your dad

theres more important things than dads rite now you dumbass like the power of prayer
i tried lus number and it goes right to vm its still that old message of hers

the one where she sounds kinna fucked up?

ok well i tried flurrys number and there is no answer someone should call 911

but what do u say if u call there is a missing guy and girl no idea where???   

already did
i hope you are ok cousin i know you have been having a hard time hang in there !

did you even read? ?? there is lu also??
if this is not for real flurry and you are alive out there laughing around like that one time you was on here and said you was so high you might fuck the nobodys guns cat you said the cat was lookin pretty goot right about now and i laughed real hard hahahahhaha i still think about how funny that thing was if this is like that then ima beat the living hell out of you for this i will tune you up real fuckin good you asshole

***but if it is real be fkn safe little bro!***
this is why we should have better gun laws

oh ffs you asshole every chance you get next you will be talking about going back to the old ways 54321 who is going to talk about the old ways

things should be different on reservations anyway we are a sovereign people and their laws should “not apply”

oh ffs you asshole every chance you get

hell yeah niiksookowa every chance i get this aint politics this is someones life but if we dont talk then no one will and that is the truth niiksookowaks that is how it is

youre not spelling that right

there is no “right” way to spell we have talked about this many times it was all oral

wow you two really

ill show you oral

i still havent heard anything called both of them no answer cousin i hope both of you are ok!!!
MY RELATIVES haha this is flurrys best cousin jim i am going to go by their place

dont they live in bridgerton

i thought they lived in la fleur

he works in la fleur she dont work at all but she used to work for bigman as secretary

they used to live over at bridge i know becuz i used to rage it up at their place all the fuckin time had some goot times there tbh i was bummed out when they got sober for a while haha
does anyone live in bridge who can go look ???

***plz can someone go look***

^^^^his cousin jim is going to look?

this is jim they live in peigan

hey listen up wayne “flurry” winter thunder if you done anything to lu i will personally fuck you up like the little bitch you are fucking been “hitting” my cousin since “day one” i will wreck you you little fuckin pussy u little bitch you always been weak

bro lu is my cuz to i will help you fuck him the fuck up lets go fuckin find him

im busy right now later

there are more important things right now nephews like finding out where they are and if everyone is ok

ok auntie im sorry your right sometimes i get real carried away

of course my nephew be good and god bless

fuck it im gonna go look for that little faggit
driving around this reservation at night i seen things like red plastic cups from

last nights rager spinnin in the road

where there is not even any wind
did anyone hear a shot???
i have called both tribal and county lets hope someone can find them does anyone know how many cops are on duty tonight

two as always jeezus goddamn christ this reservation

anyone get ahold of his mom yet she will be worried sick

jfc someone needs to go to the council to talk how can two cops cover this whole place

specially at night

i dont know the difference between night and day???
has anyone been outside its so dark out there there aint even stars

i called both places again they said they would look into it nothing to do now but pray to creator they are ok

dont forget
jesus
brother i am real worried about you this is sister plz call me i just seen this i know you and lu been having a rough go but this is something both you and her can survive and though i love you you also know because we have talked many times about this that ***you and you alone*** is responsible for what you do i can tell that you are still acting that one way you are still feeling sorry for yourself both you and lu are this way remember the conversations we have had about how we are cause dad was never around and how messed up mom was when we were young but there was nothing we could do then but there are things we can do now bcuz we are adults but you gotta want to change you cant be waiting around for lu to make things better for you and she cant be waiting for you tho i am real worried tho i have never been this afraid far as i can remember i also know that i cannot fix you or anything about your life if i could get out of this wheelchair then i would come looking for you but instead i will just pray that you find the thing you need to find plz brother do not do anything more you can get through this i will help you if i can just call me i love you so much there is still time there is still a chance           

    to heal

  ^^^^this^^^^

im so sorry cousin this is just awful

i know creator grant me the serenity i am just grateful for this life and the beauty of each and every morning

fuck my cousin i do not know if you have already gone on to the next place but listen up while people are out there looking for you i need to say something right now about what is going on and i hope that you can see this wherever you are i just need to say

lol just gearing up for a big chief speech lmao

haho i just realized i wrote a whole long thing to flurry and most of it never even got posted well suffice to say it was a good one i hope you and your woman are ok and i hope that fire isnt anywhere near you
i just seen flurrys truck go by outside the window so i am guessing
he is ok i am at little dallas

well that is not far from their place can you check on them

to hell with that i am not going over there do u think im crazy you go over there did you even see what he said hell he already shot someone

oh that was not his truck it was just one that looked like it i seen it again i think that was glenn middle callers ride
flurrys gotta guuuuuun

thats his ndn name now lol

joking at a time like this

fuck auntie its DA INDIN WAY lmao you dont like it go back to living in clarkston with all the APPLES hahahah
i am listening to my scanner i can confirm the tribal police are now looking good job everyone

i think you mean the two cops the council will agree to pay

i think you mean we need to reform our tribal constitution to reduce the powers of the council and create separation of powers we need to
work toward getting our sovereignty back we need to talk treaties again

aww fuck this one just went off to school n came back actin good  

my online mechanics certificate???

i dont know anything about this sovernity you speak of but i do know what we really need to do is return to our traditional ways the ways of our ancestors we had ways to take care of these things in the old days we never had these problems till the white man we never had this kind of violence

fuck we were warriors man wtf do you think warriors do lmao

thats not what i mean you are bending my words

so you are saying we had ways of dealing with my neighbors daughter stealing my lightbulbs to make a “loc” is what i think they call it smdh

not your mechanics cert those books you brought back from that “one semester at school” the ones you are always posting photos of haha actin smart guy

this guy only in indian country do you catch hell for reading just in case you forgot our treaties our constitution are all on paper

fuck off bro where the fuck is your beret at lol

???

i ever see you ima blast you

 
i am hearing now that they are for sure not in la fleur

have you heard anything else where did u get your info

i cannot reveal my source ho jokes my woman was up to the police station n she overheard them talking she was up there bcuz she needed to check on her brother who is in there for domestic

oh christ who cares about your dumbass brother in law what about lu

this is lulus uncle charles i know i have not seen her for a long time ever since i loaned her money she will not talk to me even though i told her it is ok but i am ready to do something anyway about this in the old days we would beat the hell out of a man for doing such things to a woman if it was bad enough we would tear his lodge down a great penalty back then

they are definitely not “in la fleur” my bro just went by where they used to live and it is now marcy three horns and her kids and her exes kids and her gram and her uncle murray are in there too

fuck hey can i move in too lmao

that good rez life lol

so where are they

i thought genius was going to check

naw genius is at work i just seen his big head he is working in the cage at diamond jacks i seen his huge face in the cage when i was leaving he was cashing out mary lou st croix looks like she won big

anyone seen the cops or talked to them

i need to bum her then she still owes me from two years ago

no but i heard there is a fire on the south side of town maybe they are there does anyone know??
there is a fire in la fleur?

there is a fire in la fleur i just drove by it ho man it looks wicked
flames plum thirty feet up in the air hope everyone is ok

just saw it wasnt that bad maybe ten feet  

i will have to go make sure mom is ok now she lives right down near there like a block away

i can check on her if you want i know where she is

this reservation
is always burning

your mom is fine she and her dog was just watching tv she didnt
even know there was a fire plum watching her stories lmao

ok thank you so much i feel better now

FFFFFFFFFUCK ok this is my THIRD TIME TRYING TO POST THIS in the LAST TWENTY MINUTES my fucking internet keeps crashing FUCK COMLINK ALL THE WAY TO MEXICO dellano told me to go check on their house in peigan so i did tonight and let me tell you this something is going on with that house you can always tell a bad house cuz its like someone is there even when no one is there i went up to the door and it was hanging         open the lights were on in the kitchen i was standing in the kitchen and then i heard something and i was pretty sure it came from the back room like a lot of people on this thread i have been to enough parties at their place to know my way around in the living room the radio is on and its playing i shit you not polka music so i stop in the complete dark you guys it was so dark it coulda been a night lodge and then i hear something again from the back room it is like nothing i ever heard and i think do i want to do this err what but then im like fuck it ill die so i head for the hallway i get into the hallway and just then i see a pair of lights go by outside but theres no car sound and im realizing those could not have been headlights bcuz there is no road there so that is when i start to get a real bad feeling and i find myself shouting flurry lu you there??? but nothing answers so i

ho what is that it???
i am also out to peigan the sky out here is real dark i can feel the wind coming and there are no stars but out across the plains the sky above la fleur is

burning

III
ksissťăa•psiiks

 
kyîînn is how it ends thats how it ends the pot has boiled
over
people here spend a lot of time at night alone there
are these people they walk at night alone i know         everything
           this town has to offer
where i am from a
           lightbulb is proof of
           life
once upon a time               a boy and a girl went to the woods and came back with a baby
once upon a time i             went to the woods with a girl and came back with her head
          god where we are from       is a shadow like large wings had extended and blotted the sun the sun sometimes shines through
          sometimes you can see a light here
the wind blows the wind never stops the sand here
will burn out your eyes
sṗo’moōḱinăan is how they said it that was how they said it the people said it that way
there was this girl once    she had black hair black as a fuckin raven feather black and straight as the line from here to the last moment
of my life she showed                 me god with her mouth
three am is the coldest time of night
the only thing you could hear was the sound of the firekeeper
that was a long time ago now

when you look up there is a light sometimes
this town came from me she says this town i am this town a lot of people dont know this the people used to know this but         
once upon a time this was a holy place holy things happened here we danced          this was where we danced holy right there we danced our way in                      a woman goes first
there is a song i cant           remember the song         there was songs
for all of it   
          listen the other night
hīyō issṫsiipṗāaṫŭpṗiiyo’p hīyō năăăăăăăă     ăăa         a
hīyō niiksō         ḱōwāaks îînōk iiyissttsiiyik’
the other night at this party this girl she was slim as a just broke through the snow flower i could taste her from across the room
i could fucking             taste her there once was this boy and this girl   
        how long has she been missing how long has she
        the shattered jaws              we considered the teeth we admired the teeth                  light that bitch
         up
                  fuckin light that bitch up
                  she said she had a sneer on her
                  ima light u up bitch
we moved from shadow to shadow we covered ourselves we
wore the skins of the dead we painted skins of the dead the sand was all        over
once upon a time    walking alone at night kind of drifting ive gone looking
          light that bitch up she said
i brought back her head
under the yellow light we observed her head
three am is furthest from the light
god she said
my girl     i said    my girl         

oh you she said oh you            i bet you thought you
          won